Pineda Vs. Perry: Cage Match

Pineda Vs. Perry: Cage Match

-February 14th, 2009 by Scott Urmson

Ever since late 70's, early 80's power ballad band Journey made Arnel Pineda their new perminent frontman, a roaring debate has waged into an all out war regarding who is the better lead vocalist for Journey: Pineda or former frontman Steve Perry. For the sake of this article, I'd rather skip the history of both singers and go right to the meat of things; I'd like to propose a solution to the debate. A final solution, if you will. How do we do it here at Horsedrownings? One word: cage match. Alright, maybe two words.

This time the cage match is a little different. It's a look-alike tag team match with barbed wire ropes, thumbtack and florescent tubes on all turnbuckles. What is a look-alike tag team match? To increase the carnage, both Pineda and Perry will have a tagteam partner each. As stated in earlier years of this site, Steve Perry will team up with the stellar bass guitar rocker from the beloved world-famous band Dogstar, none other than Keanu Reeves. Fighting alongside Arnel Pineda is another hot Asian girl, star of The Transporter, it's actress Shu Qi. Let it be known that both parties agreed to the super-match "with open arms". I'm serious, they both replied with that. They both thought they were being clever.

When asked to comment about their opponent, both pugilists had a mouthful of opinions. Here are a couple of their most quotable threats:

Fuck that. I'll kick that little flip in the throat just as I did so many villagers of the viet congos back in the war.

 

You're tired and old, Steve, and you're fucking with an animal. I may be 40, but I look like a 21 year old girl. That means more people want me. I'm Steve perry 2.0. Asian technologies.

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The fight will be held at the Gunther Dickins Arena in Winnipeg, Canada. The event will be aired live on The Delrocho Network, local access in Warren, Ohio. Get popcorn and get wood. It's gonna be a slaughterous occasion for the whole family to enjoy.