How To Pick Up Chicks On Myspace

How To Pick Up Chicks On Myspace

-October 12th, 2008 by Scott Urmson

There's a saying; "Don't hate the player, hate the game". With that said, let it also be reminded that a great man once told us, "That which you hold true on Earth, I'll hold true in Myspace." It was something like that. I don't have the internets on me right now to double-check references. The fact remains; the game is evolving and you need to be prepared. For what? For the mackinest of pimp sensations like this guy to scoop up your girl right from under you:

In all seriousness, the game is evolving. The Myspace game, at least. With that, if you're too stupid in this day and age to notice a fake profile sending you a friend request right off the rip, then may you suffer like this man did. Actually, I like how he comes back a day later threatening to report an already-accepted request. See? Give the illusion of power to the simple man and he will throw it back in your face.

Unlike five years ago, things like Myspace—as well as online interactions in general—are now an accepted form of social communication, even for flirting and dating purposes. Only with the advent of mass friend request robots, it's like going to a bar and having over half the women that approach you turn out to have dicks and that's at least 10% more than when you actually go outside to meet hoes. Learn to spot the budge, people.

The way to educate people is to use familiar subjects in a comparative analogy. Here's an easy way for unlearned rural people to interpret the how-to. It's like a really bad Jeff Foxworthy routine: "If yeeew have 500 friends and your 'about me' section is completely empty? Yew might be a spaaambot. If yeeew only have one small picture on your page and send me a friend request telling me I'm sexy and you want to chat as our introduction? Yeeeww might be a blee blaheeyah..."