Mister Rogers: The Internet's Magna Opera Collection Part 1

Mister Rogers: The Internet's Magna Opera Collection Part 1

-Mar 02, 2008 by Scott Urmson

No matter how hard you try to dig up dirt on the man, the one thing that seems to remain solid fact is that Fred Rogers was a person who genuinely cared for the welfare and mental health of children. I can't argue that fact. The only time I've speculated negatively of the man was when I was somewhere around eleven years old in my house, where I justifyingly proclaimed, "Mister Rogers is gay!"

I was immediately met with the rebuttal that Mister Rogers was 'a good man and a minister'. Unfortunately, in that particular period in time, we were suppressed of today's wide-spread awareness that to say someone is a 'holy man' means dick when it comes to judging someone's morality. Therefore, I was forced to eat my words and succumb to defeat.

This failed debate was no great loss; at the time I was simply trying to assert to my surroundings that I was indeed becoming older. My method of doing just that, was to speculate that everything marketed or geared towards people one or more years younger than me was 'gay'; you know, like real adults would do. In fact, I remember just last week I made sure everyone at the restaurant heard me when I said, "Kid's menus are gay", just in case they mistook my somewhat-boyish looks for actually being twelve or under and therefore attempt to push one in my visage.

Fred Rogers may have lived an honorable life of public service fueled with genuine love and concern, but fortunately for the rest of us, the internet has offered a plethora of ignorant myths, rumors, and pranks created at the expense of all this 'peace and love; good will to men' shit. Even further, so you don't have to, I've taken on the weight of hours spent wading through all the bullshit and garbage to present the best of what the web has to offer. Since I've found a decent amount of keepers, this will be part one of a two-part series.

We start with two items. One being from the Howard Stern show, the second being a prank call using a Fred Rogers soundboard. *Note that the second clip is silent for the first ten seconds.

I was pretty ignorant as a kid. I was shocked to learn that the word 'fuck' existed before the year 1960, and that what's considered normal dialogue by today's standards hasn't shifted significantly from a hundred years ago. Presently however, I'm not one to blindly assume that generations before my own were oblivious to innuendo; especially ones as explicit and obvious as your grandfather soaping you up and shooting you down with his meat-hose. How in the fuck were people not constantly busting at the seams while talking to this guy? Even though I give credit that people of any given timespan weren't born yesterday when it comes to caa-caa humor, I think Fred was. No wonder people thought he was creepy. The man had zero thought-filters.

Next is a spoof of To Catch A Predator. The content is funny enough to make up for a couple poorly-made edits on the production side. Whatev's.

Finally, we have a clip from the Jimmy Kimmel show where they play this brilliant video featuring more of Fred being deaf to his own fat mouth and the feces that spills out of it.

Here's a fun fact: The etymology of the word 'ho' as a shortened term for whore, was dated back around 1965. I actually looked that up to see if it was a possibility no one on crew that day was shooting beverages out of their noses behind the scenes.

This concludes part one of Mister Rogers: The Internet's Magna Opera Collection. Check back soon for part two, where I present my personal favorites of the Mister Rogers internet clips that I've discovered, as well as explore some of the fucking retarded myths surrounding the man who taught you just how special and unique of a person you are.